Message

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THE TRUE MEANING OF MARRIAGE

Mark 10:1-12

Key Verse: 10:7,8 “ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one.”

  There are three essential occasions in a man’s life; birth, marriage and death. Among these three, birth and death are destined without our choice. But in regard to marriage, we have choices when finding a spouse. Since marriage largely influences the destiny and fate of a man’s life, it should be prayerfully and carefully decided and performed. Several years ago, while waiting in a line in a post office, I met an old couple who had been married for 55 years. They took each other’s hand like little children. I read happiness, trust and love in their faces. I was moved by their persistent and faithful marriage life and said, “I respect your marriage life. I wish all American families become like you.”

  Then, what’s wrong with families today? In USA the divorce rate for first marriages is 50 % and the rate for second marriages is 67% and third 74 %. More than half of the students at Jackson Park Elementary School are from broken families and most of them live with a single parent. Today I am not going to talk much about divorce, but rather about a successful marriage and a happy family. Jesus will teach us about the true meaning of marriage and about the key for a happy family. Through this passage, I pray that we all have the right concept and view of biblical marriage so that we may establish beautiful house churches in this land. Amen.

First, Jesus teaches the word to his people. (1) Look at verse 1. “Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.” It was Jesus’ final journey to Jerusalem. He left Capernaum and went into the region of Judea. He was on the way to Jerusalem to die on the cross as the Lamb of God for the sins of the world. His heart must have been deeply troubled and anguished with his impending crucifixion at the hands of the Gentiles. Despite his personal emotional turmoil, he did not ignore teaching the word to the crowd. He welcomed all people who came to him and as usual he taught them.

  Why did Jesus teach them the Bible? Jesus taught the word of God so that the word of God might be planted in their souls and they might be saved. 2 Timothy 3:15-16 says, “...and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness…” Why did Jesus teach the word of God as his first priority?  Jesus wanted to give himself to his people. John 1:1-2 say, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.” The Word of God is Jesus himself. Jesus, the Word of God, gave himself to the people. To Jesus teaching the word was his most important and most urgent task as a servant of God. We have many things to do and many ways to serve God. However, we must teach the word of God as of first importance and as our first mission for Christ as our Lord Jesus did. Let us pray for all young disciples here to grow as excellent Bible teachers and Bible speakers in this generation. Amen.

Second, Divorce by Moses’ law? While Jesus was teaching the word to the crowd, some Pharisees came and tested Jesus by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”(2) We don’t know exactly why they brought the issue of divorce to Jesus at this point. Probably some of their companions had divorced recently. Probably they had planned to trap Jesus and hand him over to King Herod who had killed John the Baptist for rebuking him about his unlawful divorce and remarriage to Herodias. (6:18)

How did Jesus reply? “What did Moses command you?” (3) They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” (4) The Pharisees thought that divorce was lawful according to Moses’ Law, especially based on Deuteronomy 24:1-4. However, when we read these verses carefully, Moses gave this law to protect women in the male-dominant society. At that time, women and children were ignored and treated unfairly compared to men. Many a evil man misused this law and abused his wife and discarded her like garbage. It is said that if a woman burned his food while cooking it, her husband might file for divorce. Moses knew well about the evilness of men’s hearts. So in order to protect women and discourage men’s abuse, Moses wrote this law. In a word, Moses wrote the law of divorce to restrict divorce, not to promote divorce.

In time past and present, people tell us about various reasons and causes for divorce. But, let us learn how Jesus tells about it. First of all, people divorce because their hearts are hard. Let us read verse 5. “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied.” In another version, Jesus says that their hearts were stubborn. Many couples separate and divorce because their hearts are hard and stubborn. When no one wants to say first “Honey, I am sorry,” they split. Because of pride, arrogance, violence, and selfishness, indifference people hurt each other and that causes their split.  Second of all, people divorce because of their marital unfaithfulness. Jesus pointed out this in verse 11. “…Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Most couple these days divorce because of sexual immorality. Husbands cheat on their wives and wives have hidden lovers. Marriage is a mutual commitment to each other with trust and love. But, because of their sinful nature, they become unfaithful to each other and finally their relationship is broken to pieces.  In America divorce is allowed in the case of marital unfaithfulness. Regardless of any permissible reasons or causes, it is a tragedy if a marriage ends in divorce.

We must know that God never intended to allow divorce. In Malachi 2:15b,16 the Lord says, “So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. “ I hate divorce…” The Lord hates divorce. The Lord knows that divorce is breaking relationships between God and men, and men and women, and that the consequence of divorce is very destructive and harmful. As for me divorce is a terrible sin against God, and against each other, and against our children. Then, what did God intend when he established the first marriage in the beginning? Now let us study about the true meaning of marriage.

Third, the true meaning of marriage (6-9).  When we study the Bible with new beginners, we usually start from Genesis. Jesus did, too. In order to explain about the true meaning of marriage, Jesus quoted Genesis 2. Let us read verses 6-9. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” In these verses we find three principles of a Biblical marriage.  First of all, a marriage should be established by God’s divine sovereignty. In Genesis 2, God intended marriage for Adam. The Lord God said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:20b-22 continues, “But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man…” As we read these verses, in the beginning, God had compassion on the lonely man and created a woman to be his suitable helper, a helper in doing the work of God in paradise. So the meaning and purpose and existence of woman is being a suitable helper for a man. Adam did not intend to have a woman. He did not look for a woman for marriage. It was God who intended, initiated and established marriage. It was originated and performed and ordained by God the Almighty. Therefore, a marriage is a sacred, covenantal and holy union under God’s absolute sovereignty and blessing. So Jesus concluded in verse 9 saying, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

  When a husband and wife acknowledge God’s divine and absolute sovereignty over their marriage, they live a happy marriage life for a long time. When they accept their marriage vow as their unbreakable and absolute covenant with God, they endure all hardships and difficulties and enjoy a happy marriage life and live together until they enter into heaven.

  In UBF Church in regard to so-called ‘marriage by faith’ we acknowledge that marriage is under God’s absolute and divine sovereignty. We believe that marriage by faith came from God and belongs to God. We trust in God who is the absolute creator and overseer over our marriage life.  We also trust in God’s servants who pray for us and help us to establish a God-centered and mission-centered family. Because of trust and love relationship based on God’s sovereignty human weaknesses and differences do not impact much our happy marriage life. Rather, we love each other more and deeper as the years go by.  I have been married for 20 years. My family accepted God’s sovereignty over our marriage because we believe that our marriage came from God. So we love each other bearing other’s weak points. My wife’s weak points became my prayer topics and her strong points became my thankful topics. We share God’s blessings and troubles of the world together. Our children grow well under God’s care and his blessing. I really praise God who established my family and has used us for his good purpose thus far.  I believe that my family is not the only one, but that all families in this church and around us have been established by God, in God and for God. Amen. 

Second of all, marriage is established between a man and a woman. It sounds weird, but God’s message should be very clear that marriage should be done between a man and a woman, not between a man and a man or between a woman and a woman. In USA among 51 states, only two states, Massachusetts and Connecticut, are allowed for the same sex marriage. But, the American constitution firmly bans the same sex marriage. No matter how the same gender couples try to justify their abnormal life, they are sinning against God when they have unnatural relationships between men and men and between women and women (Ro 1:26)

Marriage also should be established between a man and a wife. Polygamy is not allowed in America. The Apostle Paul also clearly defined about marriage between one man and one woman in 1Timothy 3:2, “Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife….” One young man wanted to justify his sinful desire that the Bible allows polygamy. But, Jesus clearly said in verses 6,7, “God made them male and female.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.” When men acknowledge God’s divine sovereignty over the creation of family between a man and a woman, they become faithful to each other.

Third of all, the two will become one flesh. Let us read verses 7,8. “’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. ‘So they are no longer two, but one.” In our human calculation, one plus one should be two. But, Jesus said that the two becomes one when they marry. We cannot figure out the mystery of marriage. So the Apostle Paul said that marriage is the profound mystery even though he did not marry at all (Eph 5:32) The words ‘The two will become one flesh’ means that a couple will have not only physical and intimate relationships, but also will become one in spirit, in faith, in purpose and direction of life as well as in their thought world. What is marriage? Marriage is the starting point for harmonizing between the two imperfect persons to be perfect. When we realize that we are becoming one while living together, we are really happy.

  Then, what is the secret of becoming one between a husband and a wife?  A husband should love his wife and a wife should respect her husband. The Apostle Paul said in Ephesians 5:33 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Generally a wife is happy when she feels loved by her husband. In the same way, a husband is happy when his wife respects him despite his weak points and shortcomings. A happy family is established in such a mutual trust and love relationship, and their children grow happily in such loving atmosphere. Then, how can sinful and immature human beings become one? It is possible in the Lord. When a husband loves his wife as he loves the Lord Jesus and a wife respects her husband as she respects the Lord Jesus, they become one. The Lord Jesus made the two one. Sin separated men from God. But, Jesus, through his death on the cross and resurrection, reconciled between God and men. Jesus brought men back to God.  In Jesus there is way, love, understanding, forgiveness, and forbearance. In Jesus we bear each other, love each other and live forever.  Amen.

  In today’s passage we learned about the true meaning of marriage through the word of Jesus. Marriage should be kept under God’s divine sovereignty.  Marriage should be established between a man and a woman. A happy family comes when a husband and a wife mutually love and respect each other. Then, there will be no more divorce or separation on this earth. There will be no more crying children left behind and broken families in this country. Let us pray that people of this world may restore the true meaning of marriage and have the Biblical view of marriage so that America may become a kingdom of priests and a holy nation. Let us also pray that God may raise 10,000 Jesus-centered house churches in this ministry. Amen.

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• pamk10am-2009 (1).doc

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